Blog
Thursday, April 06, 2006
-4:45 PM
It feels like war at school and at home, just that it involves no physical injury of any sort. And I feel like cowdung because of that. In other words, like sh*t?? Firstly, I think obvious cracks have shown in my relationship with my friends at school. Are we gossiping about each other or what? This really is weird. My clique's gonna fall apart sooner or later. What kinda friendship is this. When I'm with Mel, we talk about her. When she's with Mel, they talk about me. More like, there's some flaw lingering around her and me. We just can't click or something? I try so hard to ignore it. But the more we come around each other, the more I scrutinize her. Her lack of maturity and understanding towards everyday issues. And it always feels unsafe talking to Mel. She tells me what the other says while I stupidly tell her how I feel about the other. I mean, this, though not all the time, is gossip. It eventually turned out like that even with constant reminding to myself. Shoots, I utterly hate this whole thing. The gossiping, the backstabbing. (I think there's probably some backstabbing involved.) People talking about people....Crap, how dangerous the tongue is. And God's word constantly ringing in my brain.
So there it is, some silent war at school. And at home? Gosh, I would pay for lesser arguements around. I think it's the stress my Mom's bringing home from work. And she starts yelling over different issues. My Dad's the main target though. One keeps pushing for change while another keeps running away from the talks. Sounds like some political thing. Hmph, it's been going on since 2 weeks ago. They're like small kiddies now who don't know how to solve issues by peaceful means. No! The Saturdays are horrid now. I just wish for a break. And my Math is piling up and I don't friggin understand a thing about those chapters. I feel so pissed right now.
How time flies anyway. My "teenage cousin" (according to her nick on MSN), just a P6er by the way, starts to act so bimbo-like. I never get along with her though I did try lately. It's kinda like a slient thing too. Huh...she's using more 'damn's and 'like duh' and whatever' or 'wateva' as she calls it. I can't blame her cause she's in a girls schoool. Make way for changes!!! But I still don't like that. She has so much branded goods. You see, open her pencil case and all are expensive pens. And she wears roxy or billabong flip-flops. At 12? She calls herself a teenager. Cool...*sniggers* She should think like one then. As in, with more maturity. I don't know, just find her immature. Hmm, this whole entry is so about maturity. I think I need somemore too, rid the gossip dude. Gotta try harder.
At least there's badminton training tomorrow.
